Getting the caffeinated monkey off my back

Dear caffeine,

I think it’s time we take a bit of a break, and see other people. I think some time apart will help me get a bit of perspective and see whether this relationship is still working for both of us.

I not me, its you.

How long  have we been riding the high and lows of this roller-coaster together now? A decade?….What? It’s been nearly two decades? Oh my, didn’t that go quickly.

For all this time I’ve held up my part of the relationship, and as far as I knew so were you. All those happy memories together. All those simple and special moments in life where you play a part. Studying for exams, dating, birthdays, clubbing, and then in later years you even joined me a work.

Friends, family and partners have all tried to tell me that I’ve over committed to this relationship. They’ve suggested that I’ve sacrificed  a bit of my free will on the alter of caffeine, in a Faustian bargain. I laughed off their concerns, confident in that I was getting more out of the relationship that I was putting into it.

Oh boy, but you have me fooled. All this time you’ve been just a lie. You certainly giveth, but you also taketh away.

I’ve had my suspicions for a while now that you weren’t all you’d promised, but deep down I just didn’t want to believe it.

You were my light, my muse, my steady rock, and most of all my lightning in a bottle when I needed it. You were my moment of sophistication indulgence, and the moral high-ground from which I could look down and pity those around me who’d fallen in love with the death sticks. At least, I’d say to myself, I haven’t made that bargain…except in a way I sorta did.

You see now, your dirty little secrets are out. ‘The Internets’ has let the cat out of the bag, and shown me a laundry list of all the terrible things you do.

The article  Caffeine: The Silent Killer of Success is what finally penetrated my thick skull. Your side effects are too extensive and worrying to ignore, and to be honest I’m not getting any younger.

So here goes nothing. You’ve been by crutch for too long now, I think high time I walk on my own for a bit.

I hope we can still be friends.

Warwick